My Kid Can Choke Out Your Honor Student

I was driving home from Denver recently when I looked over at the car passing me when I noticed the bumper sticker on the back that read, “my kid can choke out your honor student,” right next to a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu school sticker.   Now, I’m sure that this person is very proud of his martial arts school and how tough it makes him and/or his child feel, but something immediately struck me as wrong about that bumper sticker.

First, an image immediately popped to my mind: a rough and tough kid bullying the skinny smart kid in class. That image took me back to my own days in school when I began self-defense training because I wasn’t the biggest, toughest kid in class (but I was an honor student). This bumper sticker and its attendant philosophy seemed a distortion of everything I’ve learned martial arts.  Instead of humility and only using martial arts in self-defense, now someone is using his martial arts training to lord it over the smart kids, the successful kids. It seemed very low-class to me, as if this child has nothing else going for him other than the fact that he can beat up other kids.

That mentality is really sad especially to me, a martial arts instructor.

The US has gone from a place where we were proud to show off our children’s accomplishments in school by letting people know that he or she is an Honors Student — it’s an honor — to a place where others might feel bad because someone else is doing better in school than they are so everyone is honored.  Now, parents can just teach their children to beat up other kids who out-perform them in school.  For a time, it seemed that the US was moving away from being a barbaric society but signs such as these make me wonder.

This whole “my kid can choke out your honor student” mentality reminds me of a proposed sequel of sorts to the movie Revenge of the Nerds.  In the original the nerds were tired of being picked on by the jocks and got their revenge in increasingly humorous ways.  The sequel idea was that the nerds are all grown up and control everything because of the rise of technology & the internet and their mastery of both. The former jocks are left out in the cold so these washed up athletes plot their revenge.

Let’s leave aside clique warfare for a second and turn our eyes to the martial arts technique in question: choking or strangling another person until he passes out. Learning to close off the airways and/or blood flow to the brain of another child is serious business. There are 2 factors to consider here: one is the child learning the technique at all/whether or not a child can display correct judgment in its application and, two, is the judgment of the adult teaching this technique to a child.

Consider teaching children how to wrestle. Of course they do so naturally and boys often enjoy wrestling with each other. The goal in wrestling is to pin your opponent’s shoulders to the mat. Of course there are takedowns and throws but there are no chokes or manipulations of an opponent’s neck. After all wrestling is a sport and no one wants to be injured while playing. Sport is on the other end of the spectrum from self-defense.  Martial arts are exactly that, for war and combat, hence the “martial.” The martial arts contains thousands of techniques and ways to injure an attacker including choking, not all of which should be taught to children.

There are many things the children cannot do because they lack maturity and responsibility. We do not allow our children to drink alcohol, they must be a certain age to be able to drive a car, they cannot enter into binding contracts, they cannot be prosecuted as adults for crimes, etc. Society and our legal system make distinctions between the privileges of adults versus the restrictions placed on minors.

The question is, it ethical and necessary to teach children how to literally choke the life out of each other? What purpose does it serve? Is there some pressing need for children to have the knowledge take the life of a child? Or is this something that should be, like handguns, reserved for use only by adults? Are there other alternative martial art techniques that children could learn to keep themselves equally safe? Would they be equally served by learning every technique just shy of the killing techniques?

When I was a child learning martial arts myself I learned a technique that contain a full-power strike to the opponent’s throat. My teacher told me to be very careful because the strike had the ability to kill the person if enough damage was done to his larynx. Now, when I teach this technique to children I change the target to make it non-lethal; that is my responsibility as their teacher.

I remember thinking to myself that I now had the power to take someone’s life with one strike. Far from being exhilarating, it was scary. Perhaps I had the insight to realize the power I was given and the responsibility not to use it unless absolutely necessary, however, that realization stuck with me for a long time, holding the power of life and death in my hands, literally. Even so, I was a teenager at the time and older than most children who are learning how to choke others out, honor student or not.

Years ago, I heard a story from Small Circle Ju-Jitsu Grandmaster Wally Jay about a martial arts instructor who was teaching a class how to choke each other out. To make sure they were performing the technique correctly he had them all choke him out. Due to being choked over and over by the students in a short time-span he eventually blacked out.  A tragic thing occurred next. No one knew how to help him because he failed to teach any students how to revive someone who had been choked out. The result? He died.

Professor Jay said that if you learn how to hurt someone you must also know how to heal him or her. I cannot begin to count the number of adults I’ve come across who have learned how to choke someone out and do not know how to revive him or her. They all sing the same refrain, “it just never occurred to me (that I needed to know that).”

Jiu-Jitsu, like most martial arts, contains enough techniques to keep children busy and learning self-defense until they grow up to the point when they are emotionally and mentally ready to learn choking or lethal techniques.

When I teach my students ground-fighting I teach them the underlying structure and framework of fighting on the ground.  Later they can build their choking techniques upon that framework and add it to their existing skills when they are older and more mature.

There is absolutely no need for a child to learn how to choke another child into unconsciousness. I’ve heard the arguments for teaching kids chokes and not one has convinced me otherwise.  And bringing out exceptions to the rule (the son of a martial arts teacher usually), children learning chokes and just never being put into a position to hurt someone, or children just being lucky enough not to inflict permanent injury on someone are not valid arguments that we should teach kids how to choke others to unconsciousness or death.

A martial arts instructor who teaches minors how to potentially kill another person retains personal responsibility and culpability for that child’s actions. Teaching martial arts is like giving a child a loaded gun, only this deadly knowledge cannot be taken away as easily as a gun can be.  A child who learns how to shoot can be disarmed by denying him access to guns, but a child cannot “unlearn” how to choke another child out if he abuses his skill.

We have laws to prosecute bartenders who over-serve overtly drunk people who then drink-and-drive and injure other people.  The same is true of adults teaching children how to choke each other out.  If your student chokes another child to death, the authorities will be knocking on your door.

Your judgment of an adult who would teach a child how to choke another child to death must be suspect.  If you heard an adult say to you, “I’m going to teach your child how to potentially kill another child and, by the way, here’s a bumper sticker to slap on your car to brag about his ability,” how would you react?  I doubt the word “trust” would ever come to mind.

I guess it’s time to teach all my honor students how to escape being choked out by some Jiu-Jitsu bully…

“Why Do So Many Gifted Children Attend Scornavacco Martial Arts Academy?”

Recently one of our Karate Moms asked me this insightful question.  To tell the truth, I just always assumed that of course our students are intelligent and do well in school—that’s what we do.  I’d never gave it much more thought than that.  Upon further reflection I came up with…

3 Big Reasons Why SMAA is Full of Intelligent Children

#1:  High-Achieving Families Realize That We Teach The Very Skills They Need To Excel in Academic School But That They Aren’t Learning Elsewhere

Our families know that IQ is nothing without Focus, Discipline, Perseverance, Resilience and the many other LifeSkills we excel at instilling in our children.  Everyone knows these skills are critical success factors but few people really know how to cultivate these abilities like we do.  Worse, people tend to teach children the exact opposite lessons, virtually guaranteeing that children do not learn proper LifeSkills.

Our children receive a Systematic Education on how to develop these critical Life Skills.  Our staff, and the SMAA parents, all agree that leading by example is the best way to teach our children.

Shared Values and Parenting Philosophy

In addition, our families share common values and Parenting Philosophy.  High-Achieving Families know that the Core Martial Arts Values, including Respect, Commitment and Social Intelligence, directly influence how successful their children will be in school and in life.

Our families always act in the best Long-Term Interests of Their Child versus feeling good in the short-term. This philosophy allows them to overcome almost any obstacle in the way of high-achievement and happiness.

#2:  High-Achieving Families Tend to Know Each Other

This is the simple answer.  Once the first few families with gifted, high-achieving children began their study with us, they naturally spread the word to their friends.  Over time we have built a reputation as “THE place to go to for academically-minded families.”

The most intelligent parents realize that the real benefits of a quality martial arts school do not just come from putting a child in a uniform and a belt and then jumping into a huge class of screaming kids.

#3:  High-Achieving Families Are Drawn To SMAA Because of

the Unique Knowledge And Experience of Our Heads of School

Of course when new families first meet Master Brad and Dr. Karla Scornavacco they immediately know that SMAA is “far beyond the ordinary martial arts school.”  Their educational backgrounds, including Harvard, Northwestern and CU create an environment of higher learning and academic achievement unmatched in Colorado.

Our “Education-Centered” Martial Arts Academy naturally attracts intelligent and well-educated families, both inside and outside academia.

So there you have it.  SMAA successfully marries the best Martial Arts Character Development Strategies with a solid background in the Best Educational Practices.  Our families take the long-view with their children’s mental and emotional education, sharing the oft-forgotten traditional values that create intelligent citizens with strong character.  Finally, these families invite other, like-minded families to join them.

Two Strange Events in One Day

Yesterday two unrelated, strange events happened.  The first was that a friend and associate received a great opportunity.  This time-consuming opportunity means that I won’t be seeing him for quite some time.  Neither of us saw this coming. The second was that I received a phone call with an opportunity for a Sunday night out with Dr. Karla that I hadn’t been expecting nor even on the lookout for.

I’ve been writing in the Master Club Newsletter lately about time and how to take control of it, including scheduling.  While scheduling is necessary, so is being ready and able to adapt to change as it comes.  My friend Doug, seeing a chance he couldn’t pass up, radically changed his life.  For Dr. Karla and me taking advantage of a unique opportunity just meant some creative thinking to find a babysitter so we could go see Sheryl Crow perform at the Boulder Theater.

For Doug his chance is potentially life-changing while ours was a frivolous night out.  The commonality between these two strange events is that neither chance took us away from our goals, instead enchanting our lifestyles.  Doug’s business will most certainly thrive now and our impromptu Date Night did nothing to take away from our family time or our work time.

The Point?

All plans are subject to change.  Call it flexible rigidity or rigid flexibility.  Make plans and only change them when the change either advances your life-goals or does nothing to detract from them.  Finally, be open to the change and chance events that life throws your way.

They say it can’t be done

Two more just did! With several more within striking distance.

Something just got me thinking once again about our recent Junior Black Belts, Tristan Smith and Bryce Roberts, who joined the growing number of Black Belts at SMAA.  Each time I look out on the training floor and see Black Belts training hard and being great role models, it takes a nothing day and makes it all worthwhile.

Ah, I remember now.  I got up and went for a swim this morning, an activity I’ve grown to really enjoy.  But, you know, I was dragging this morning having not gotten a good night’s sleep.  I was too tired to exercise, or at least that is what part of my mind was whining about. I didn’t want to go, and this was something I really like to do.  (read that line again, or a few times)  Luckily for me, I also have an adult inside my head, one who created a simple system to help me when I get this way.  I call it “Connect the D.O.T.S.”

D.O.T.S. stands for the DO ONE THING SYSTEM.  I had to ultimately get in the water and swim but that goal brought all the things I’d have to do to get there.  It seemed overwhelming.

So tracing back all the things I needed to do to get my rear in the pool was one simple thing–get in the car.  Once I did one thing, all I had to do was change.  Then, all I had to think about was stepping off the side of the pool.  Then, all I thought about was leaving the side of the pool, etc.

Always focused on the next DOT, doing one thing, while I knew my ultimate goal.  Before I knew it I swam my laps and here I am working away, awake and feeling ready to rock.

This little episode, which I repeat almost daily, reminded me of the Junior Black Belts because adults often forget that we go through the same challenges and must overcome the same obstacles our kids must.  This is life, and it is not bound by age.  Kids not only learn persistence and overcoming frustration–they must.

Early on in life I adopted a philosophy that the sooner I figured out “the rules of the game of life” and aligned with them the more time I would have to enjoy life, come what may.

The Junior Black Belts have a huge head-start.

VISION: January’s Powerful Word

Welcome to January!  Here is short audio preview of our Powerful Word of the Month:

VISION

Just click the play button to listen:

Dedicated to Your Success,

Brad Scornavacco

Head of School

Perseverance or Futility?

If Sissyphus were alive today he’d be living in Colorado and, instead of eternally rolling a boulder up a hill only to see it roll back to the bottom, he’d be forced to edit our Phase 2 Self-Defense Techniques DVD in iMovie and have it crash each time it’s about done only to have to start the whole thing over–again. (yes, even with backing up every few minutes)

Perseverance or futility?  Well, I’m teaching myself a new program, Final Cut, so we’ll see if I can get this DVD done and out within the next week or so.  If you see my hunched over my computer with an intense look on my face it’s because I’m more determined (obsessed?) than ever to get this DVD out because I know lots of people are waiting for it.

Wish me luck.

I wonder, how do you react to disastrous setbacks?  Are you like me?  Do you get that emotional rush and overwhelming feeling of “What’s the point? This will never work.”

If this happens to you I hope that’s not the ONLY reactions you have.  I fear that most people react this way and just give up.  I hope you respond like I do and experience the powerful emotions that follow the self-pity.

When I’m done focusing on how unfair it is that all my work was for naught I always get hit with a tidal wave of emotion.  That feeling is a pit bull-like determination that something as silly as this will NEVER STOP ME.  I re-focus and re-double my efforts to break through whatever barrier is in front of me and overcome whatever setback I may have faced.

From experience, I know these setbacks usually wind up spurring me to much higher levels of accomplishment.  That is sweet success.

I hope the same for you.

Lifesaving Gestures

“Everyday Gestures That Can Save Your Life” is the title of a never-completed book by American Kenpo Founder Ed Parker.  As a Kenpo student I was so intrigued by the concept that I eagerly awaited the printing of this book, which never came.

Why am I thinking about a never-finished book?

Because the idea behind the book is so powerful it was featured in a hit movie and now another New Movie.  I’ll give you a clue–“Wax On, Wax Off.”

Yes, The Karate Kid showed the world the principle that martial arts movements are no different from many ordinary, everyday gestures and actions.  The current incarnation is “Jacket On, Jacket Off” in the Karate Kid remake, starring Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith.  I’ve already heard people asking how that could possibly apply to self-defense.  I can see many ways.

Mr. Parker got to share some good examples in his book series, Infinite Insights into Kenpo, as well as at seminars.  One example was yawning and stretching.  The action of moving your arms out could easily be a heelpalm strike.  Another example was brushing the hair behind your ears.  That natural movement easily becomes an upward elbow strike.

In the movie, Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) says, “everything is Kung Fu,” and he’s so right.  I was taught, “if it’s right, it’s Tai Chi,” and “Systema is just natural movement.” ALL good martial arts seek to reach this same point of unity of action with purpose.

I regularly relate movements to common everyday gestures and have so many examples I may just finish that book!

Quintuple Bypass

I’m finally back in town after a harrowing week in Chicago.  I spent several days agonizing about missing classes to fly out, but my decision was clear when I stopped to acknowledge how bad I felt about the possibility of not seeing my dad before such a major surgery.  Even though many people told me bypass surgery is “routine,” sawing open my dad’s chest and rewiring his heart didn’t seem too routine to me.

I’m so relieved I went, for my dad yes, but mostly for my mother to help see her through her worry and fear for my dad’s life.  We had to celebrate her birthday in the hospital waiting room on Wednesday while the nurses watched my dad. Things were touch and go for awhile there but now he seems like he’s on the road to recovery.

This health scare reaffirmed a few things:

1)  Family First (biologic or not).  No matter what is going on, it can wait when your family needs you.

2)  It is a blessing to have a stellar TEAM of Instructors at SMAA who all step up for each other.  Creating, having and appreciating those who support us is one of the keys to a good life.

3)  When you are in surgery is not the time to start thinking about your health.  An ounce of Prevention is worth the proverbial pound of cure.  This is one of the reasons I emphasize the health and fitness aspect of martial arts and why I created the WarriorFit System (you are using this, right?).

I’m glad to be back!

I’m finally back in town after a harrowing week in Chicago.  I spent several days agonizing about missing classes to fly out, but my decision was clear when I stopped to acknowledge how bad I felt about the possibility of not seeing my dad before such a major surgery.  Even though many people told me bypass surgery is “routine,” sawing open my dad’s chest and rewiring his heart didn’t seem too routine to me.

I’m so relieved I went, for my dad yes, but mostly for my mother to help see her through her worry and fear for my dad’s life.  We had to celebrate her birthday in the hospital waiting room on Wednesday while the nurses watched my dad. Things were touch and go for awhile there but now he seems like he’s on the road to recovery.

This health scare reaffirmed a few things:

1)  Family First (biologic or not).  No matter what is going on, it can wait when your family needs you.

2)  It is a blessing to have a stellar TEAM of Instructors at SMAA who all step up for each other.  Creating, having and appreciating those who support us is one of the keys to a good life.

3)  When you are in surgery is not the time to start thinking about your health.  An ounce of Prevention is worth the proverbial pound of cure.  This is one of the reasons I emphasize the health and fitness aspect of martial arts and why I created the WarriorFit System (you are using this, right?).

I’m glad to be back!

Easter Egg Riots

Saturday we hosted our annual Academy Easter Egg Hunt, and despite the heavy winds, it was a great morning and all the kids had tons of fun. Siena even got to participate in her first egg hunt ever. Thanks to Nathan Ooms for backing off and letting her find some eggs. That was very kind of him and it made her day.

After our Easter Egg Hunt, I witnessed two other Egg Hunts that I just need to contrast to our well-disciplined and courteous egg hunt.

The first was directly following our egg hunt in Boulder.  We went to get Siena’s hair cut for the first time and stumbled across a toy store’s egg hunt in their tiny concrete square outside their store.  Coming right from our hunt in a nice, spacious park to this cramped quarters was striking.

You couldn’t really call this an egg hunt.  It was more like an Easter Egg Scramble because all the eggs were just dumped into this concrete circle and all the kids were unleashed to shove and jostle to collect as many eggs as they could.  It was a frenzy and had none of the FUN of exploring to find hidden Easter Eggs.

Dr. Karla and I were a bit repulsed and both said, in unison, “Siena’s never going to be a part of that.”

On Sunday — with the second Easter Egg Hunt Incident — It got worse!

I happened to catch a TV news report of an “Easter Egg Hunt Gone Wrong” in New Hampshire.  Again, not really a hunt as much as a piranha-like feeding frenzy.

Hundreds of kids were in a field where eggs were dropped from helicopters.  The best efforts of the organizers were to no avail in keeping the ravenous kids under control.  They stormed the field, running each other over, knocking each other done in a mad dash fueled by pure “id” to collect more eggs than they could possibly ever need.

Of course the TV announcer was aghast at how this could happen, but as a martial arts teacher my first response was, “really, what else did you expect”? I sometimes joke that our kids are like locusts at our Easter Egg Hunt, but it’s a joke.  Our SMAA kids were the pinnacle of restraint and just plain NICE as they searched for eggs, even going so far as to help others who didn’t have many eggs find more eggs.

These kids, in such overwhelmingly large numbers, really were like locusts.  File that Easter Egg Riot under “you had to see it to believe it.”

This Easter tale has one last component.  Sunday morning Siena, now 2, had her first Easter Egg Hunt at home.  On Saturday we colored eggs with her, an event in itself.  Watching her face as she helped dunk eggs and see them change color was priceless, as any parent would know.  As fun as that was, guiding her to find the eggs the Easter Bunny had hidden was better.  Seeing her scan the house, then spot an egg on the ledge, then exclaim, “there’s one!”– MAGICAL.

Some things are better in small numbers.

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